How to make your dreams come true (and where you might get stuck)

I’ve been thinking about dreaming. Not the kind you do while peacefully slumbering in your bed, but dreaming while awake; daydreaming, I suppose, although you may do this kind of dreaming even after the sun sets. And maybe daydreaming is not really what I mean either—to me, that conjures images of floating idly in a rowboat, one hand languidly trailing in the water while your mind aimlessly wanders where it may. Although daydreaming can be a pleasant and worthwhile pursuit, I’ve been contemplating a more active kind of dreaming. The kind of dreaming we mean when we say things like “dare to dream,” “dream big,” or “follow your dreams.” I’m interested in aspirational dreaming.

Aspirational dreaming is intentionally crafting a vision for the future. It’s the kind of dreaming you might engage in while scribbling away in your journal or talking with a loved one late into the night about the life you’ll create together. It may lead you to construct a vision board, a personal manifesto, or, as we often do in more professional settings, a vision statement. And yes, it may lead to the creation of DUMB goals, as I described in my last post. Aspirational dreaming is what authors Chip and Dan Heath are talking about when they suggest creating a destination postcard—a way of envisioning and expressing a vivid and motivating picture of the future you desire.¹ It can serve as a North Star to guide you as you move through your days, months, and years.

In simple terms, it seems there are three main stages to making a dream a reality: 1) Dream it up. 2) Plan to make it happen. 3) Execute. (And stick with it when the going gets tough.)

For example, I have a dream of buying a cozy cabin on a lake. I love to fantasize about how it will look and feel to be there. When doing so, I’m in my dream it up stage. Part of my plan to make it happen has been to set a budget and some savings goals. I’m executing on my plan by putting money in my cabin savings account each month. And even if I need to temporarily draw on those funds for an emergency, I pay myself back and start saving again straightaway. Sounds easy to make your dreams come true, right? In theory anyway.

When it comes to dreaming, there is good news and less good news for each of the Business Chemistry types, who are likely to excel in some stages, but also to be in danger of getting stuck in others. For this discussion, I think it’s helpful to consider, in addition to Pioneers and Guardians, our Business Chemistry subtypes: Dreamers (Introverted Integrators), Teamers (Extroverted Integrators), Scientists (Introverted Drivers), and Commanders (Extroverted Drivers).

Dream it up

When asked if they often daydream, only Dreamers will admit to doing so. (Go figure.) Commanders vigorously reject the idea of daydreaming, and Teamers and Guardians, too, seem to spurn it. These same types also say they’d rather be seen as realistic than creative. In contrast, Dreamers are joined by Pioneers and Scientists in saying the opposite—they’d rather be seen as creative than realistic. And these same types are also more likely to claim an active and rich imagination.

While daydreaming can be beneficial for nurturing creativity, maybe those who don’t endorse it are thinking of it in the passive sense I described with the rowboat—they may see it as a waste of time. When it comes to a more active perspective that could be seen as a form of dreaming, one example is believing that great things (the dream) can be brought about by taking big risks (the action), and Commanders are joined by Pioneers and Scientists in being all on board with that.

All of that suggests Teamers and Guardians may be the most likely types to fall flat even before their dreams take form. But if they can make it past this stage, their other tendencies may well-position them to bring their dreams to life. To get yourself dreaming if it’s not your natural inclination, you might try:

• Mind mapping: Organize your thoughts and ideas by writing a central concept, aspiration, or direction for your future in the middle of a circle. Then branch out to related ideas, writing each in their own circle and connecting related circles together with lines. Being able to see the associations between your thoughts in this way can help you realize connections and structure your dreams logically.
• Research: Gather data and information related to ideas or directions that interest you. Understanding market trends, industry standards, and potential obstacles can provide a solid foundation for your dreams—as can paying attention to topics that interest you in a bookstore or a podcast app.
• Scenario planning: Create various scenarios related to your interests and aspirations, then analyze the potential outcomes for each. This structured approach can help you prepare for various possibilities and make informed decisions about what you’re aiming for.

Plan to make it happen

Dreaming is all good, but doing so without a plan for making it happen might be better described as wishful thinking. The idea of manifesting is also relevant here. When people talk about manifesting, they sometimes suggest that one can bring something to fruition by thinking (or writing or speaking) it into existence. This perspective is sometimes referred to as the law of attraction. I once overheard someone say they were manifesting a new car by concentrating their mind on imagining they already had it. While there is research suggesting we can change the neural pathways in our brains by intentionally thinking or speaking about desired outcomes as if they are already real—a concept known as self-directed neuroplasticity²—I haven’t yet seen clear, scientific evidence that one can bring a car into their life by thought alone. So, if you really want to manifest something, it’s probably best to plan for a bit of action along with your positive thinking.

Pioneers, Dreamers, and Scientists may get stuck after the first dream it up stage, because Pioneers are really not big on planning, and Dreamers and Scientists aren’t too fond of it either. Guardians, on the other hand, revel in planning, so if they can get past the barriers that might keep them from dreaming in the first place, they’re likely to make good progress here. Unless, that is, they get stuck in another potential trap, which authors Jeffry Pfeffer and Robert Sutton described in their classic book The Knowing-Doing Gap.³ Any good planner may get ensnared in this trap if they feel so accomplished after creating a detailed plan that they start patting themselves on the back and toasting their success without ever moving on to execution. I recently came across a great word for this tendency: procrastiplanning. As a Guardian myself, I relate.

Guardians, as well as Scientists and Commanders, also say they’re not particularly comfortable with ambiguity, and that may encourage them in the direction of clarifying things by creating a plan. Pioneers, on the other hand, say they’re quite comfortable not knowing the answers, and therefore may not feel compelled to put in the effort involved in planning how they will make their dream a reality.

So, Pioneers, in particular, and maybe Dreamers too, might get stuck before they get to action. But all hope is not lost for any of the types when it comes to making those dreams come true. If planning is not your thing, you can make it more palatable by trying to:

• Get artful: Make planning more appealing by visually representing each phase of the journey with illustrations, colors, and other creative elements. Define milestones in broad strokes—leaving room for flexibility and changes in direction—to help keep on track without constraining yourself.
• Construct a narrative: Write a story about the journey toward fulfilling your dream, highlighting your approach, the various phases, and the likely barriers and triumphs you may encounter along the way.
• Play: Use creative exercises, games, improv, puzzles, drawing challenges, or other playful approaches to outline your steps.

Act to make it happen (and stick with it when the going gets tough)

Have you ever heard the saying “How you live your days is how you live your life?” It means that living a certain kind of life can only be accomplished by living those same kind of days. After all, our lives are made up of days. So if you dream of writing books and living the life of an author, but you spend your days watching TV rather than writing, then you’re actually living the life of a TV watcher, not an author. (Although, as an author, I can attest that there is sometimes quite a bit of TV watching and other distracting activities happening in between stints of writing. The point is, making your dream a reality is likely to require day-to-day action.)

Commanders are likely to thrive here, as they’re the most goal-oriented type. Dreamers, however, not so much. Dreamers are also not particularly disciplined. Nor are Pioneers or Scientists, so even if they do somehow get a solid plan in place, they may not have much luck sticking to it. And because Pioneers and Scientists also get jazzed by exploring new things, they may not always have the fortitude to keep after the pursuit of their dream day after day.

However, that same orientation toward wanting to try new things could help them when they hit roadblocks, as inevitably happens when trying to make a dream a reality. Both Scientists and Pioneers like to experiment and test things to see if they work. So, if realizing a dream could be accomplished in multiple different ways, as is often the case, Scientists and Pioneers may benefit from switching up their approach here and there, rather than sticking with just one set of actions they might get bored with.

Speaking of roadblocks, it’s possible that, especially if they’re caused by one’s own action, overcoming them may be particularly challenging for Guardians and Dreamers, who say that when they make a mistake, they spend lots of time thinking about what they could have done differently. If that means they get stuck in a self-punishing loop, it may derail them from the pursuit of their dream. But if they instead apply what they learn from all that thinking and they keep trying, it just may end up being a superpower.

When chasing a dream, that’s one of the big questions, right? When the going gets tough, will you lie down in the road and accept defeat? Will the challenges you face result in a dream deferred? Or will you pick yourself up and keep going? All the types say they’re quite optimistic, but Pioneers and Teamers, even more so, say that even when things are going poorly, they believe they’ll turn out for the best. And that kind of optimism may be a good omen for the future of one’s dreams. But even more than passive optimism, an action-oriented approach like applied hope may get you closer to where you want to be. Applied hope is the idea that you can double-down on hope by backing it up with actions designed to bring about what you’re hoping for. In her timeless book The Artist’s Way, author Julia Cameron wrote about the power of turning “Why me?” into “How?” or “What’s next?”—a compelling illustration of applied hope and an excellent guide for living a rich and fulfilling life.⁴

If you need some help sticking to your action plan, try one these approaches, depending on your preferred style:

• Reflect: Stay on track by setting a schedule for yourself to imagine yourself living your dream and experiencing its benefits, then reflect on your progress as well as what’s working and what’s not. If things aren’t working, decide whether you need to double down on your efforts or change your approach.
• Track progress: Maintain momentum by using a journal, app, spreadsheet, or other method to document your achievements and setbacks on the way to making your dream a reality.
• Keep it present: Surround yourself with reminders of your dream—pictures on the wall, sticky notes, quotes, books, podcasts, or videos—anything that can help remind you why it matters when challenges arrive.

As with my last post featuring SMART and DUMB goals, part of the point here is that our natural tendencies can steer us in the direction of more imaginative, visionary, and inspirational approaches or toward more practical, action-oriented, and results-focused approaches, or sometimes a combination of the two. But it turns out that people are more complicated than that, and as evidenced by this discussion, we all have challenges in some areas that can be well-compensated for by strengths in others.

I suppose one can live without dreams, but I know I’d rather not. If you’d also rather not, you can start with the most basic questions there are: What do I want? How will I get there? When will I start? Why will I keep going? Fulfilling a dream likely requires answers to all four of these questions. If living your dreams has not been your reality, you might pay attention to which one is most difficult to answer. That may be where your most important work lies.

¹ Chip Heath and Dan Heath, Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard (New York: Broadway Books, 2010).

² Norman Doidge, The Brain’s Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity (New York: Viking, 2015).

³ Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert I. Sutton, The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge into Action (Boston: Harvard Business School Press, 2000).

⁴ Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity (New York: TarcherPerigee, 1992).