Ambition, burnout and beyond – A year of growth and hard lessons.

In 2017, when I embarked on my great adventure with Deloitte, I was off to a great start. As I went on my journey, in 2020 after my promotion, I hit a huge speed bump in the form of burnout. This is the third part of my story where I conquer all the challenges and get my happy ending. Except that it didn’t quite turn out that way.

Following my recovery from burnout in 2021, I focused on maintaining balance and space for creativity and churned out more than 15 original ideas throughout the year, giving me immense satisfaction in the process. While the year turned out to be my most creative, I felt that the overall impact I created was quite modest. This led me to seek answers–What can I do to create substantially more impact? What is my potential? I thought that advancing to the next level in my career would lead me onto that path. So, I started talking to my leaders and mentors for their wisdom and decided to sign up for a larger practice role. As I pushed myself to do more, taking on more complex engagements, I got nothing but support from all those around me.

Initially, the challenge was exhilarating. It seemed like I had discovered the path I had been looking for. But then, an engagement spiraled. My team and I pushed through, solving some of the complex and high-intensity problems to get to the finish line.  While delivering the project, I also kept the momentum going on all my other practice work. The toll was heavy, and I breathed a sigh of relief when the project ended.

Six weeks later, another project hit the red zone. This time, the complexity and challenges were much bigger than any of my previous engagements. The stakes were immense – our client’s reputation and our own hinged on success. With the due date set in stone, we began our race against time, which became a blur of days, nights, and unending challenges. The sense of joint ownership and responsibility we felt as a team was immense. Our leaders rolled up their sleeves and worked alongside the team to make it possible.

By the end of the project, I noticed familiar warning signs, only this time they were far greater in intensity. I was burnt out. Yes, the work had been challenging, but my personal situation added to it. With my husband based in Dubai for the past two years, I had to juggle family responsibilities, a household of two children, and demands at work all by myself. During the crucial phase of the project, my grandmother got injured. Following that, my husband’s uncle was hospitalized with critical illness. My daughter got bitten by a dog. I also had an episode of severe neck and shoulder pain. Battling these obstacles came at a huge mental cost. The exhaustion, the stress, and the guilt of being unavailable to my children made me question my professional choices.

After the project ended, things began to settle down.  I shared my experience with my peers, team members and leaders, and it was cathartic. Not only did I receive support from all around, but it also opened a healthy dialogue on how we as individuals and as a practice can better manage well-being during critical deliverables and challenging work. 

Looking back, I know that I have grown significantly as a person through this journey. I have learned that no matter what, I am the one responsible for my choices. I have also realized that a career is not about a pre-scripted happy ending. Instead, it is about the journey that offers endless possibilities of discovery and growth. Here’s to onwards and upwards! Until next time!

This blog is a third part of my story here at Deloitte. If you’re interested, you can read the prequels here—

Part 1: Finding your way

Part 2: Who stole my mojo?

The views expressed here are of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of her current, former, or future employers or any organization with which she is associated.