Family voices, future choices: The influence of military families on service propensity

Positive perceptions drive service propensity

During the conflicts of Iraq and Afghanistan (2001 to 2022), the demands placed on service members and their families were substantial. This strain contributed to declines in family well-being and happiness and worsening perceptions of military life.⁶ Factors such as mental stress, family separation, and spouse career challenges placed significant strain on families and service members, prompting many to leave the military.⁷ Consequently, these factors negatively impacted satisfaction with military life among many military families.⁸

Though the frequency of deployments in most of the services has decreased from earlier periods when the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were ongoing, reducing the burden on some families, the military has still struggled to meet recruitment, retention, and readiness goals.⁹ A smaller force that struggles to provide the training and experience service members and their families expect can impact retention.¹⁰ “Doing more with less” brings new challenges through higher demands on service members,¹¹ which can continue to challenge family well-being as a whole.

Despite existing challenges, most military families surveyed remain optimistic about military service and its positive impact on them. These perspectives likely influence their willingness to encourage their children to serve (figure 1).

In focus groups, participants were asked if their preference to encourage their children to serve differed between sons and daughters, branch of service, and career pathways. Most participants would encourage sons and daughters equally.¹² Similarly, there were no shared preferences for a preferred service branch.¹³ Many participants did, however, suggest they would encourage their children to be officers instead of enlisted, citing more pay and better career prospects.¹⁴ This perspective was common among enlisted and officer families participating in focus groups.¹⁵

Knowledge of and experience in the military increases a person’s willingness to encourage military service, which is, in part, one reason that military families have been a larger source of military talent compared to civilians (figure 2).¹⁶

These findings (figure 3) are higher than those of the 2022 NMFA teen experience survey, which found that 44% of surveyed teens planned to serve.¹⁷ On average, roughly 11% of civilian teens report planning to join.¹⁸

Propensity to recommend service is high because military families value the support and opportunities offered

With some of the burden on service members and families subsiding as recent deployment numbers have decreased, more families may be focusing on the benefits of military service rather than the challenges, driving positive perceptions of military life among families (figures 4, 6, and 7). 

When discussed in focus groups, participants tended to reflect positively on the job security the military provides compared to what they perceived as less secure civilian careers (figure 5).¹⁹ While many focus group participants appreciated the job security of the military, perceptions of military versus civilian compensation were less consistent.²⁰ While some participants felt the military generally compensated individual service members well (especially when considering health care), the military’s negative impact on spouse careers made many participants feel it limited their family’s overall financial well-being.²¹ In other words, many focus group participants felt that having both partners employed would be more manageable as civilians and lead to better financial stability.²²

Many focus group participants talked about the concept of “resilience” in relation to military children when reflecting on how military life affects their families. The idea that military children are more resilient due to experiences like frequent moves and parental deployments is widely held.²³ Most felt their children had become more resilient and that resilience was generally good.²⁴ However, many also questioned if it was fair for young children to need such resilience.²⁵ Some suggested that focusing on resilience overlooks the discussion on challenges military life imposes on families.²⁶

Military teens surveyed see the military as a pathway to long-term professional success (figure 8). Viewing the military as a pathway for professional success also helps explain surveyed teens’ desire to go to college in addition to serving (figure 9). Teenagers’ opinions of the military often correlate with their perceptions of their parents’ career achievements, which include factors such as length of service and rank attained. For example, when asked to rank the reasons teens wanted to serve, “pride in witnessing my parent(s) serve” and “seeing the opportunities (for example, financial, adventure, and professional) military service provides my parents” were ranked first by 45% and 40% (respectively) of teen respondents.²⁷

A longer career and more senior rank are not necessary to be proud of military service or the only measures of professional success, but they are important. Those who serve longer are likely to develop additional reasons to feel prideful about serving, like achieving more career milestones, being satisfied with professional outcomes, and receiving additional financial benefits. Similarly, rank itself can reflect professional achievement.

The importance of positive perceptions and greater propensity

Despite challenges that often accompany military life and contrasting an often-negative narrative of military family well-being that appears online, most families surveyed find the military’s benefits worth the sacrifice. These findings are important for aiding recruitment and retention efforts. Exposure to military life through family has long increased the propensity to serve.²⁸ Indeed, military families are a vital source of military talent, and preserving that source is essential, given existing recruitment and retention challenges.²⁹

The relatively small percentage of civilian teens who plan to and are eligible to serve amplifies the importance of military families.³⁰ For example, the propensity to serve among civilian teens has hovered around 11% for more than 20 years (figure 10).³¹ However, propensity doesn’t equal eligibility to serve. Only roughly 23% of Americans between the ages of 17 and 24 are qualified to serve, and that number is declining.³² Many of the 11% of civilian teens inclined to serve may not be eligible due to being overweight, health problems, or drug use.³³

Survey findings may be partially due to the length of service and rank of respondents; 65% reported more senior military ranks of E5 to E9 or O5 to O6, suggesting that many respondents had opted to continue serving beyond their initial obligation. With more time in service, many respondents are also more likely to be better familiar with military processes, have built support networks over time, and otherwise understand how to navigate the challenges of military life.

Conversely, more time serving means respondents may have experienced more challenges associated with military service, including more moves, deployments, and other family difficulties, which can strain positive perceptions of military service. Finally, many focus group participants with children described feeling “stuck” in the military because they were less confident that a civilian career could provide for their family.³⁴ Others described being too close to retirement to justify leaving the military, though they would prefer to.³⁵ So, while many survey respondents have likely opted to stay in the military, not all do so because they prefer to.

With the overall pool of potential military talent shrinking, the military will likely continue to rely on military families in addition to other communities. However, some military families may not find military life worth it, and this could impact their willingness to encourage their children to serve and their children’s desire to serve.

Long-standing issues continue to discourage service

While many surveyed hold positive perceptions of military life, not all do. Many who generally have positive perceptions of military life also communicated the strain of familiar challenges, like family separation, mental and emotional stress, or lingering military spouse unemployment.³⁶ These long-standing issues continue to impact military family well-being and their propensity to encourage service.

When discussed in focus groups, the families that reported they would not encourage their children to serve were more open to the idea if their children did so for a short period, for instance, a single enlistment or post-Reserve Officers’ Training Corps obligation rather than a career.³⁷ For this group of respondents, the benefits of serving a brief period before starting a family would allow their children to receive valuable benefits like college tuition or career skills while avoiding the hardships that military service can place on a family.³⁸ Many of the focus group participants stated that military life became much more difficult after having children and as their children got older.³⁹ They noted that day-to-day caring for children tended to fall on the non-serving spouse.⁴⁰

Several focus group participants suggested they would not encourage their children to join because, in their view, the military doesn’t possess a contemporary view of family and relationships.⁴¹ They pointed to the expectations placed on spouses as a key example, suggesting the military wouldn’t expect so much from spouses if it viewed marriage as an equal partnership.⁴² In general, focus group participants expressed a sense that there were few limitations on imposing responsibilities on families.⁴³ According to participants, imposing responsibilities on spouses occurs when military leadership either implicitly or explicitly expects the spouse to handle family responsibilities, like requirements for moves or child care, among other reasons.⁴⁴

Respondents who selected “other” to the question “Based on your experience as a member of a military family what was/is most influential in deciding to discourage your child(ren) from serving?” were encouraged to write their reasons (figure 11). Most of the written answers elaborated on challenges that stem from family separation or caused mental or emotional stress.⁴⁵

Few teen respondents who selected “other” to the question “Based on your experience in a military family, what is/was most influential in your decision NOT to join” clarified their answers with a written response (figure 12). Those who did tended to describe hardships associated with family separation, moves, or witnessing the difficulties of military life on their parents.⁴⁶ For example, the survey found that the more times a child moves, the less likely they are to want to serve.⁴⁷ Likewise, teenagers who feel their lifestyle lacks stability and control due to military life often prioritize these concerns over factors such as adventure, gaining professional experience, or financial support for college when choosing not to enlist.⁴⁸

It’s worth noting that the median age of teen respondents is 18; 66% reported that their parents were on active duty, and 18% reported that their parents retired after 20 or more years in service.⁴⁹ So, most teens would likely have grown up in households impacted by the conflicts of Iraq and Afghanistan (2001 to 2022), when deployments, danger, and operational requirements on service members were high.

Given the number of teen respondents who would not join the military because of other career interests or dislike of military life, there is likely an opportunity to communicate better the diversity of roles, experiences, and skills of military jobs to align with various Generation Z interests and beliefs (figure 13).

Overall, personal experience can impact whether a military parent encourages their children to serve or whether a military child wants to serve. Indeed, 40% of survey respondents reported changing their preference to encourage or discourage their children to serve based on their experience (figure 14).

The “moving” undercurrent of family stress

More than any other factor described by survey and focus group participants, frequent moves were the most discussed source of family stress and hardship.⁵⁰ Moving was described as the source of financial, educational, health care, professional, social, and marital problems.⁵¹ Importantly, moves tended to impose and preserve many of these challenges on families simultaneously.

For example, as described by survey and focus group participants, a single move can impose on a family:

• Financial challenges: Moving costs that the military doesn’t cover (real estate losses, travel and accommodations for unique family requirements, etc.), and spouse unemployment (having to leave a job).
• Professional challenges: Service members choosing between career opportunities and family needs when considering relocation options, and spouses missing out on years of experience and earning potential.
• Educational challenges: Having to find new schools and related programs for children based on what is available in the area and supporting children through the transition.
• Health care challenges: The need to develop entirely new health care plans and relationships with providers based on what is available at each duty location.
• Social challenges: Searching for new social groups for kids and spouses.
• Marital challenges: The stress of moving and the tendency for the spouse to carry much of the responsibility.

The frequency of relocations every two to four years rarely affords families and service members relief from these stressors; focus group members reported that just as they were beginning to feel settled in a new location, it was time to start preparing for the next move.⁵² Focus group participants also felt that these stressors compounded over time, even as their families became more accustomed to the challenges of moving.⁵³ These difficulties were made worse when coupled with short-turn deployments or sudden relocations.⁵⁴ When questioned about existing military programs that enable families to defer or avoid relocation for specific circumstances, focus group participants recognized potential advantages but generally regarded them as exceptions to the frequent relocation norm.⁵⁵ Some also raised concerns regarding how such programs might affect their service members’ careers.⁵⁶

The labyrinth of family support programs

When asked about the use of existing family support programs to offset the challenges of military life, focus group respondents told much of the same story: They can be very helpful, but they are often difficult to find and time-consuming to apply for.⁵⁷ Nearly all focus group participants described using family support programs at one time or another.⁵⁸ Most focus group participants described learning about programs by word of mouth or social media because searching for programs was too difficult; there are many programs, they regularly change, and they can vary based on location and branch of service.⁵⁹ With two-thirds of military families living outside military installations in civilian communities, discovering support programs by word of mouth likely disadvantages many families.⁶⁰ Applying for programs was also described as very time-consuming and akin to a part-time job.⁶¹ There was a general agreement within focus groups that making family support programs more accessible through a more user-friendly search and application process was critical to better supporting today’s modern military families.⁶²

Optimism about higher propensity

As mentioned earlier, 81% of respondents reported they are likely or very likely to encourage their children to serve. Similar percentages reported believing military life was best suited to support their families and that their children benefited from it. These findings contrast with other recent survey research suggesting a declining propensity to encourage service among military families.⁶³ While the surveys were conducted using different methodologies and, therefore, cannot be compared directly, the differences in findings suggest there may be room for optimism regarding how likely military parents are to encourage service.

Another reason for optimism is that nearly three-quarters (70%) of respondents were spouses.⁶⁴ Spouses shoulder a considerable chunk of family responsibilities, struggle with career challenges, and are more likely to witness firsthand how military life affects their children compared to service members. Spouses can also influence how long a service member continues to serve.⁶⁵ Given the demands on spouses, they have plenty of reasons to dislike military service, yet the survey suggests they generally find the benefits of military life to outweigh the challenges.⁶⁶ By contrast, the latest DOD data (2022) showed that approximately 32% of civilian mothers would encourage their children to serve.⁶⁷ For reference, 92% of military spouses are women.⁶⁸

Though the military tends to rely on families for the next generation of service members, they cannot be relied upon alone. Counting on the military family as a primary source of recruits won’t provide the military with a large enough talent pool. Doing so would also place an even more significant burden on military families as generations of family members serve.

Recommendations: Building on progress

Though the survey found that most military families would encourage their children to serve, long-standing issues and limited talent pools suggest more work is needed to help the military fill its ranks to protect and defend the country. Overreliance on military families will not meet recruitment goals. Considering the following opportunities to improve family support programs and recruitment efforts could aid recruitment and retention. 

Addressing long-standing family well-being challenges

• Develop an assessment framework and require biannual evaluations of current family support initiatives to measure their impact on families. The DOD continues to implement new policies and programs to address long-standing military family challenges, like the Taking Care of Our People initiative and others.⁶⁹ As an important complement to these efforts, the DOD should consider developing frameworks and conducting routine assessments of each family support program to understand how they are impacting military families and to inform new initiatives.
• Similarly, DOD should develop and evaluate options for extending the length of duty assignments to reduce the number and frequency of moves across the force. While steps to make family moves easier and less financially costly are critical for reducing some family challenges, not all stressors that stem from moving can be overcome with additional resources (for instance, developing social, medical, and educational relationships). Rather, overcoming these often very personal and family-specific stressors likely requires fewer moves.

Existing programs that provide service members options to skip or defer a permanent change of station are helpful but act as exceptions. Longer time in one location could alleviate military spouse employment challenges (and subsequently some financial stressors), provide children and families more consistency in social, health care, and education settings, and reduce the stress on service members having to pick between their career and their families.

• Develop tools and systems that allow military families to provide routine and timely feedback on military family support programs. Military leaders can build on recommendations from the 2019 National Academy of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine ad hoc committee on military families⁷⁰ by developing a user-friendly system that allows military families to provide timely feedback on existing family support programs and processes. A feedback system would likely provide military leaders with key insights that allow them to fine-tune programs based on the needs of families. Evaluating the overall user experience of accessing and applying for current programs could also be crucial for enhancing the effectiveness of support programs for families.

• Evaluate options to resource unit-level family support programs. Many essential family support initiatives, such as family readiness programs, depend on volunteers from the very families these programs aim to help. The volunteer nature of many of these efforts can make it difficult to institutionalize knowledge, build useful programming, and otherwise deliver support. Military leaders should evaluate options and the potential benefits of reducing the dependence on volunteers by funding and staffing these critical roles.

Improving recruiting opportunities

• Better describe the breadth of professional opportunities military service provides. Although military children generally have a better understanding of the opportunities and advantages that military service offers compared to their civilian peers, many may still not be fully aware of the wide range of military occupations or how military experience can benefit their careers after service.⁷¹ New recruitment efforts and stories that capture the breadth of professional experience and focus on the professional advantages of military service can help correct any potential misperceptions and drive interest in military service among military and civilian teens.
• Create new recruitment incentives by expanding professional training and experience opportunities. According to the survey, many teens are motivated to join the military to pay for college, while 66% plan to join after college.⁷² The focus on professional opportunities aligns with the general professional perspectives of the Gen Z, as researched by Deloitte Global.⁷³ More than money for college, recruitment incentives that allow younger service members to choose more of their military experience could improve recruitment efforts. For instance, expanding programs that allow recruits to select their first duty location or opt to attend specific schools or training in addition to their occupation, among other options, could offer a way to appeal to the professional and experience-focused preferences of Gen Z recruits.

Professional or educational incentives could connect troops with and qualify them for careers after military service. For example, rather than an enlistment bonus, offering a recruitment incentive that provides access to military occupation schools for trades such as welding or plumbing or technical skills related to cyber or information technology careers could appeal to recruits who see the military’s career potential but are uncertain about their future career paths at the time they join.

These education opportunities should qualify troops for relevant civilian careers. Although there are similar transition initiatives, such as the SkillBridge program⁷⁴ these programs are not guaranteed to service members (they must apply and receive their commander’s approval, among other requirements⁷⁵), and the responsibility of using them falls on the service member. By incorporating transitional training or educational opportunities into military service contracts, the responsibility for providing transitional training and education programs falls on the service and could provide troops more assurance that their military experience will lead to a career after their service.

The findings from the survey provide a new and nuanced perspective of the perceptions and challenges faced by military families. While many families hold favorable views of military life and would encourage their children to serve, long-standing issues continue to impact their overall well-being and propensity to recommend military service. The survey emphasizes the importance of addressing these persistent challenges to improve recruitment and retention efforts.

Reducing the frequency of military moves, enhancing the accessibility and effectiveness of family support programs, adjusting unit leadership culture, and considering additional financial programs are critical steps toward alleviating the burdens on military families. Fostering a more supportive environment for military families could help enhance their well-being and strengthen the military’s ability to attract and retain top talent, which is essential to national security.