From working in a fast-paced environment to now checking the temperature of baby bottles, Alexander’s life has drastically shifted gears. His break from the corporate world has left a lasting impression on him. Seven months of paternity leave later, Alexander is ready to share his reflections.
Almost two years after finishing his bachelor's degree at Aarhus School of Business and Social Sciences, Alexander landed a job as a Bid Manager in Deloitte Copenhagen. After joining the big corporate world, Alexander and his girlfriend both felt as if they had really settled into their life in the big city. So, when he and his girlfriend found out that they were expecting not only one, but two girls, they realised that life as they knew it would change. They would take on one of the most important and demanding roles; becoming parents.
They both had the same goal, which was spending as much time as possible with the girls. So, when the time came around, they did just that. With Deloitte now offering more parental leave than before, Alexander seized the opportunity to take as much time off as feasible to be with the girls.
Being a hands-on dad
Alexander always envisioned himself as a present parent who would get to experience and be an active part of the girls’ first milestones. It was also a given that both him and his girlfriend would play an equally active role in their first years. During his leave, the days would mainly consist of visits to the library, playing on the floor and two-hour long walks with the stroller. Not only was he grateful for spending time with his girls, but parental leave also gave Alexander the perfect opportunity to reflect upon his life, choices and future aspirations:
“ Do yourself the favour of carefully considering and thoroughly planning out your leave, and to investigate and make use of all the resources available at your workplace. In my experience, even if you take a long leave, the good colleagues and the exciting work assignments will still be there when you come back. But the valuable time you have with your children is completely unique and something that you can never get back.”
What have they taught him?
So far, he has learned a lot in his new role, but he is also sure that there is much more to come. One thing is certain though, fatherhood has left him with new thoughts and perspectives, bringing out a more reflective and insightful side of him.
An important personal skill he acquired during his leave was learning how to prioritise the important things. Along with this mindset, he also underlines that you cannot do it all, all the time. This is an indispensable skill he expects use once he is back to working again.
Another insight that he has gained during his leave is the value of time, and in this regard protecting it. In the past, Alexander would often question whether he lived up to his role and if he delivered what others were expecting of him. This mindset has changed a lot since then, and he now finds a deep-rooted confidence in the work he puts in, allowing him to be completely present both at home and work.
A professional role model
Alexander does not hide his excitement and gratitude towards Deloitte as a workplace that offers great flexibility to upcoming parents. He also points out the Happy Parents employee network Deloitte offers to ease the transition into becoming parents. Deloitte’s new parental leave policies also diminished factors such as worrying about the household finance. This also led him to take almost seven months of leave.
But most importantly, he highlights his leader. In his opinion, she is a clear example of balancing one’s professional and personal life. This is something that he is actively trying to implement in his own life after becoming a family of four.
“My leader taught me that you can still be ambitious in your work and be just as ambitious on the home front. Balancing these two things simultaneously is a demanding but important job.”
Alexander also underlines the importance of normalising being both a professional and a parent. He points out how directors and partners’ calendars will often have timeslots blocked for picking up their kids or 'care days’. This is a visual proof that even among leaders you need flexibility and to allow yourself to “unplug” at certain times. This makes him feel comfortable doing so himself.
Back to business
With the leave coming to an end, Alexander has now returned to the usual team meetings, sales pitches and consulting jargon. Much has happened since he last sat by his desk and when asked if he was feeling nervous to return to work after his leave, he answers:
“ I am not nervous, but I am excited for my new role and excited to see how we are going to handle the logistics at home. I am not as flexible as I was before, where it was easy to stick around after office hours. Now I have someone else who depends on me at home every day, and of course that will always be my first priority. ”
Moving back home
Despite having lived in Copenhagen for almost five years, he always envisioned himself moving back to Randers someday to be closer to family. With his new role as a father, this vision quickly turned into a short-term wish that Alexander and his girlfriend could not do anything but to pursue. Not expecting much, Alexander shared his thoughts with his immediate leader, and after a short and honest talk, she gave him an offer that he could not refuse. She offered him the opportunity to stay in his Copenhagen-based team despite moving to Randers. And while this set-up will entail a great amount of effort and working from home to make it successful, it also means that he can continue in a role that he is very passionate about.
So, when he and his girlfriend found their dream house in Randers, they knew that this was their sign to take a leap of faith and go for it. Although Randers might not be close in proximity to the rest of his team in Copenhagen, Alexander knows that this opportunity will still allow him to continue developing in his current role whilst being a present dad.
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