Transformation after trauma

Intro from Dr. Suz: One of the most common questions we’re asked about Business Chemistry is whether one’s type can change over time as new roles, job requirements, and life experiences arise. The short answer is yes. While we typically wouldn’t expect drastic changes in the short term, over the long term, preferences can shift as one grows and evolves. In this post, I’m honored to share a personal story of transformation from one of the earliest leaders of the Business Chemistry team, Grace Lee. Grace’s story is a powerful illustration of how shifting life circumstances can eventually lead to a new Business Chemistry type.

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Guest post written by Grace Lee, Senior Manager, Deloitte

I was introduced to Business Chemistry in 2012, one year after experiencing some of life’s lowest lows and highest highs. Within a two-week period, I had lost my husband to cancer and then welcomed our twin daughters into the world. It was an incredibly difficult time filled with conflicting emotions, exhaustion from caring for newborns, and insecurity about the future. The harsh realities of grief, single parenthood of twins, and all the accompanying stressors set in. I was the only parent from whom my girls would ever see a smile, hear laughter, and receive a hug. I was now the sole breadwinner and felt even more pressure to excel at work to secure my income and benefits for our family. I was suddenly the primary decision-maker when it came to every aspect of our lives and futures. It was a tremendous amount of responsibility to bear. My automatic response was to double down on protection, stability, and duty.

It was no surprise to learn my Business Chemistry type turned out to be Integrator-Guardian. I embraced this identity and drew upon its strengths in the face of adversity, forging my new path with an innate sense of optimism, caution, and practicality. For me, staying true to my Integrator values of connection, collaboration, and empathy aided in my healing. For my babies, it felt imperative for me to display the quiet strength of a Guardian, acting deliberately with every move I made for our new family of three.

At the time, I wasn’t aware that parts of me had gone into hibernation. Many of my natural traits that were not vital in that moment, such as risk-taking and spontaneity, had gone dormant; like a lotus seed buried in the mud and waiting for the right conditions to germinate. This was not a time to seek out unknowns, chase gut feelings, or even tolerate ambiguity. I craved order, valued consistency, and favored the tried and true to help provide familiarity and comfort through the uncertainty.

Over time, with the love and support of my family and community, the dense mud that had weighed so heavily on me began to lift. Therapy and self-care opened me up bit by bit. Focusing on my well-being, inviting self-compassion, and adopting a coaching mindset fully cracked me open to reveal the parts of me that had patiently been resting—adaptable, eager, and thirsty for exploration. I acknowledged a need for purpose beyond survival. It was time to bloom.

I recently retook the Business Chemistry assessment and was surprised to find that I am now a Pioneer-Integrator. While I might have expected a shift, learning I had a new primary type was unexpected. Upon deeper reflection, however, it makes complete sense. No longer do I feel the pressure to figure out every detail of every move before I make it. I am more comfortable than ever with the intrigue of not knowing all the answers before diving in, and I trust in my agility and ability to adapt. It’s now exciting to imagine all the possibilities for myself and my girls, and I welcome the adventure. I still lean on my Integrator nature when it’s important to listen actively and read the room or in between the lines. But I now also bring an additional level of curiosity, openness, and flexibility when it comes to those interactions. At this point in my life and career, being a Pioneer-Integrator feels like home and most authentic to me.

As Business Chemistry specialists, we’ve always said people can flex their styles for short periods of time, depending on the setting or context they find themselves in. But in my case, significant life events required me to flex my style for so long, it became my defining style for years. I am grateful for that time and now know that I am capable of flexing to help walk through specific interactions or longer periods of life, when needed. I am also fortunate to have been surrounded by favorable conditions that allowed me to rise out of the mud and transform into the truest version of myself, ready to thrive. Most importantly, this experience has taught me that with resilience and care, we all retain the power to blossom into our most authentic potential when life allows it.

Talk it over

If you’d like an opportunity to get real with your colleagues or your whole team, consider bringing these questions to the table:

• Has your own Business Chemistry type shifted over time?
• What events or circumstances have contributed to that shift?
• How has what’s most important to you changed as a result of those experiences? 

Not only does getting real build trust and help colleagues get to know each other as humans, sharing journeys of personal transformation can offer others understanding and perspective during their own challenges. Going there just might help create the conditions a colleague needs to unearth parts of themselves that are ready to rise.