People story | June 2024 | Read time: 2min
Navigating an emotional journey
Two nights before Thanksgiving of 2021, I noticed a new private message on social media. The message came from a stranger named Ron:
“Hi Walt, my name is Ron… I think I am your father… Until I saw a DNA match with your kids online, I never knew you existed … I know this is a lot to take in, but I would love to meet you and have you as part of my life if you are interested in that…”
As I saw it, I already knew my parents. At three months old, I was adopted by Jane and Carl Sokoll and given a nurturing and wonderful upbringing. When I was older my parents explained the adoption. Truthfully, it didn’t really affect me at the time. As I got older, my father told me if I was interested in learning more about my birth parents, he would help. I wasn’t interested.
I didn’t think much of it until decades later my own children were exploring their family history through an ancestry site, and then Ron’s message appeared. He had found out about me through the same online genealogy company my children used; the site informed Ron that he was the grandfather of my children, and after putting two and two together, he learned he was my biological father.
My wife and kids were taken by Ron’s message and convinced me to respond. We talked online for a while, getting to know one another. After a Deloitte meeting that took place in Arizona, I extended my trip through the weekend, and visited Ron for the first time. There I met two of my three half-siblings and their kids – I was suddenly a brother and an uncle for the first time. The entire experience was truly incredible.
At the time, I didn’t process how all of this was affecting me emotionally and mentally. While Ron was interested in getting to know me, I still didn’t know my birth mother– which had never really bothered me in the past. But things felt different now. I was working through emotions I hadn’t felt before. This led me to utilize Deloitte’s Integrated Mental Health Services (IMHS). Through this confidential service, I was able to explore how I felt with all these changes, these new roles, and new emotions with a trusted expert. A year later, I chose to reach out to my birth mother, whose identity I confirmed through Ron. I now have a great relationship with her (Isabel) as well as with Ron.
When I reflect on my life, I’m grateful for the safety, love, and nurturing environment Jane and Carl Sokoll gave me. They are my parents. I’m grateful for my wife and my kids – who encouraged me to respond to Ron’s note – and the connection our families have been able to forge since then. I’m grateful to have benefitted from the opportunity IMHS provided. The tools I’ve learned through these resources helped me feel resilient and prepared for change in the future. With the support of my loved ones, friends and Deloitte colleagues, I remind myself to stay positive and grateful because I don’t feel like I have to carry the weight of change alone.
